We as women do it all.  We support, we give, we generate, we work, we clean, we organize, and we love.  If reading this leaves you feeling like a deflated balloon after the party, it should. We give so much of ourselves, there isn’t much left for us.  And we generally beat ourselves up for not doing more! In truth, it isn’t about doing less it’s reframing HOW we are doing it.  Is how we are living our lives generating joy, fulfillment and serving us?  If not, then it’s not working.

So, what is wrong with us?  The answer is nothing. First, We need to slow down enough to breathe and receive our birthright – joy. For many, that may seem too lofty a goal. So let’s work with fulfillment. And yes, we can be fulfilled – regardless of whether or not we ever meet our goal. The point is to learn to BE with what IS no matter what that is.

In my work teaching women Yoga for Fertility, the biggest lesson for A-type women is to let go of the doing, the trying and the forcing. I teach them how to sit still, be with their breath, and receive.  Many find it easier to give than receive, but the principle of the divine feminine is to allow, to surrender, and to invite life to dance with us.

Think of the ancient fertility symbol – the chalice; this cup represents our womb, our ability to be filled with life and to drink contentment.  If we fill our days with constant doing and stress, we are not allowing life to serve us, support us and nourish us. To fill the chalice we need to shift how we perceive life and to allow some appreciation for what is already there to fill us.

In my own life I have used the following visualization to help me through secondary infertility and dealing with Life’s seeming inequities – my mother’s stroke at a young age and my brother’s cancer. I use it with my students in my Yoga for Fertility class, too.

Imagine that Life is a river, a powerful current that flows constantly. Some of us try to swim upstream to get “there” faster, missing the view.  This takes too much effort and we become exhausted and turn back or worse, drown.  Others resist life’s current and want to control it. But, we soon realize building a dam to stop Life from coming is futile.

But there are others of us standing in the middle of the river of Life allowing it to flow through us, noticing everything around us. There is uncertainty with this way but we are open to what the river brings.

Having the courage to stand in the middle of the river teaches you to trust Life.  Being present with Life’s changing currents, ebbs and flows helps bring fulfillment and being where you are can bring joy and appreciation for the present. Receiving Life this way allows a sense of contentment to wash over you. Happiness to me is not as important as contentment.  Being content brings peace.  Peace starts with each of us, standing in the middle of the river, smiling at Life and saying YES! to whatever comes with the changing currents.